I thought it would be good to revisit a post of mine from the past. This is a previous post. It is important to always look for answers in forgiveness. Especially in church, we often hurt people in the name of God. How then do we go about forgiving each other and maintaining our relationship with the Holy? Some hurt from church is so bad that many people stay away from church and forgiveness in the sight of people who do not know or are not willing to recognize what they have done is truly a monumental task. But nonetheless we are called to do such...here is a previous musing on the definition of forgiveness that may help.
What does it mean, the word forgiveness? Do I mean in common terms or Christian terms?
To
unpack forgiveness, I first think we need to realize what it doesn't
mean - that one needs to forget. I also don't think that forgiveness
means "go back to the way things were" or even that things go "back."
Some times forgiveness can be granted without it needing to be accepted
and the other way around accepted without ever being granted.
Forgiveness
in common terms is difficult. It is difficult because of pride and
hurt feelings but most of all it is difficult because it isn't natural.
What do I mean by that? Well, it doesn't seem right to let people back
into our lives who have hurt us - protecting ourselves from future
hurt. It doesn't seem right to forgive people who have done us harm
(physically, emotionally, mentally...) because what is to stop them from
doing it again. Trust isn't something that comes easily to us humans
and it requires a ton of trust to forgive - and especially since we are
usually forgiving someone who broke that trust!
And
yet, in Christian terms that is what God did for us. We broke our side
of the trust - of the contract with God. Dating all the way back to the
beginning, we continued to fall short of not only God's expectations
but the trust that God granted to us. Our tasks on Earth aren't really
that grand and God's expectations for us really aren't unreal and yet
time and time again we break that covenant - that contract - with God.
It isn't the other way around, God doesn't break the contract...well at
least not since Noah and the flood...God keeps the Holy promises. But
how many times do we fall short of our promises to God? How many times
do we pray "this will be the last thing I ever ask for, if only..." Or
"God please help me with ... and I'll never ask for anything else." Or
"I'll stop acting or doing..." We are always falling short of these the
big requests but even in our daily lives when we claim we will pray
more and then never do. Or we go to church only for the social aspect
of catching up on gossip instead of getting into the real worshiping of
our Lord. The bottom line is that we fail God often and yet, often
blame God for failing us. (but that is another blog).
Today
we are looking at forgiveness and the fact that despite all of that and
all the sins we continue to do on a daily basic (remembering that I
define sin as that which keeps us from having a true relationship with
God), God still offers us forgiveness. What does that mean? That God
wipes the board clean and forgives us? No! But that God, knowing our
human ways and our humanity (fully understanding through Jesus Christ)
grants us grace and forgives us...allows us to move on and continue to
have an open relationship with the Holy.
Forgiveness
doesn't mean that our relationship with the Redeemer goes back to what
it was before our separation but it also doesn't stop it from being even
greater. It allows our relationship with our Creator to be anew, to be
different and gives us an opportunity to walk a new path with the
Divine.
And in our lives that is how forgiveness
should work. It should allow us, not to forget the hurt that people
have caused or the pain that we felt - for those are often scars that
may never heal. But instead allow us to say we are not going to give
power to the negative - power to the hurt or living with the anger but
instead we are going to move on. As we do move forward with our lives,
there is still room for those who afflicted the pain, should they choose
to change their behavior. There is still room for relationships to be
had - but they will never be the same. However, forgiveness does not
always mean that relationships, human relationships, can be restored.
Sometimes the forgiveness is that both parties are able to move on,
letting go of the past and creating a new future.
Accepting
forgiveness from God is one of the hardest things to do - especially
when you feel unworthy; but truly giving forgiveness out can be another
of the hardest things we do...partly because of the overwhelming feeling
that it means things need to revert back and amnesia needs to set in
and partly because truly moving forward is never easy. But let me
assure you that forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about moving
on, moving past and allowing the new paths in your life to carry you to
the future. It does mean, accepting what has happened to you and
accepting the wrong that was afflicted on you. It also means accepting
the person and the faults of the person who did the wrong. It means
accepting to trust again - putting yourself out there to continue to
love, trust and live. Once you have settled your forgiveness - you will
not be the person you were before and your relationship will never be
the same but you won't let either get in the way of the path that God
has set before you.
