I have had an interesting week this week. There has been mourning and celebrations. There has been tough choices and laughter. There has been time with my kids and time with the dying. There has been cleaning and there has been mess. There has been heart ache and there has been joy. But most importantly there has been God. God has worked through this week in ways that surprised me.
I could not help but be reminded this week, as it started off with the unforgettable 9/11 to ending with a celebration of a WWII refugee, of the passage in which Jacob wrestles with God on the river bank (Genesis 32). In this passage we have Jacob who is returning home after fleeing when he stole Esau, his brothers, birthright in a hoax with his mother. He has sent message to Esau that he comes in peace and in hopes that he will find favor but his messenger returns to him saying Esau is coming to greet you with 400 men! Jacob is afraid, worried that his brother in anger will kill him. Unable to sleep he goes to the river bank and there he meets God. He wrestles with God and Jacob wouldn't give up. As daybreak comes, God says "let me go" and Jacob says "not without a blessing." Jacob didn't give up wrestling God. Even when he got injured he remained in the wrestle. He was not only injured that day but his wound would follow him the rest of his life. He would forever limp. When his brother found him that morning, he embraced Jacob with open arms. Not what Jacob expected. God blessed Jacob with a new name "Israel" because he had struggled with both God and humans and won.
Much of our life can seem like a struggle. I was listening to NPR today and they had two guests who were sharing their life stories. Both shared about the pains and joys of their life. The host asked both if they thought they went through something "no one else" had. I was surprised by this line of questioning. We all go through hard times. And we each have our own challenges. High school, yearly 20's all the up through our life we face challenges and obstacles to overcome. We struggle with God and where God is in not only our life but the world.
In our times of struggle we have two choices - to give up and walk away or to stay and see God face to face. We have the choice to walk away from God or to stick around coming to understand ourselves and God even more. After the fight, Jacob walked away with a permeate reminder of his experience, he forever limped but also with a sense of peace as he walked into the unknown of the day. He wasn't frighten of what his brother was going to do to him.
We are all affected by the circumstances of our life. And yet if we allow ourselves to see the God that is there we can come to a sense of peace. We can come to find relief in God. Perhaps we can realize that we don't need to self-medicate on the addictions of this world but instead we can proudly wear our scars as we walk in faith the chapters of our life.
Sitting with a women this week who wanted to put her lip stick on, she said to me as she looked into the mirror "look at how I have deteriorated." As my heart ached I wished she would see what I see and so I shared with her how I see her. Her hair was beautiful and her wrinkles were few for her age. She is still a beauty. Sure she is older but she is that much wiser. Sure she has some wrinkles but she raised several boys, who wouldn't? Sure she isn't as young as she once was but her face tells her story. Her story which includes faith.
We are all affected by life's circumstances. We all wrestle with God a time or two about the happenings in our own life. But that's the point - God is there to wrestle with. We all have scars both visible and invisible to others that prove our strength and our faith.
In the moment of choice Jacob continued to wrestle, in his moments of fear (fear Esau was coming to kill him), pain (from his hip wound) and confusion (was this a dream?) Jacob did not back down from God. He kept his faith. We are all asked to keep our faith and to find God. We are to seek God and know that God is there - in every moment.
God proved to me the Holy's amazing presence was working in and through me this week as too many things just aligned. I know that in all my moments - highs and lows - God was there. Have confidence my friends and believe. Don't worry about the wounds, they heal. Just choose to stick it out with God for it is in choosing to stay that the reward is greatest! It is in wrestling with the Divine that we come face to face with God and know the power of the Almighty in our lives. It is in remaining in the faith that we are welcomed joyfully in God's loving arms as a beloved child.
God is here, God is there, From here to there, God is every where!
