Reflection for the day...

For a while my daughter only saw colored children when we came into the city to go to a museum or a park.  I purposely pick books that address openness but the first time she was verbal and really met a black child she came running up to me and told me she had a new friend.  When I asked her what her name was she responded “Oh I don’t know, but she is the dark one.”  I at first was horrified and embarrassed, I didn’t want them to think that I had taught her something racist.  So I simply said to her “You know, it is better to learn a person’s name then to call them out on something particular about them, how would you feel if someone said “you know that girl with the short hair?”  She said she wouldn’t like and went to ask her name.  Later she told me she told her new friend that she thought her skin was pretty.  I hope that family saw that all her responses came out of love and curiosity.  But when we don’t talk to our children about this we raise issues.  Another time, she saw a Native American family and all the boys had really long hair in pony tails.  She asked me loud enough for the family to hear, why do those boys have long hair?  I explained that hair is a sign of our culture and hairstyles as well, I told her that each culture is proud of how they wear their hair or what they put on their hands.  Later, on a different day, we saw a Muslim and she ran up to the person and asked them “what culture are you from?” I explained to them that she was learning about differences in humans and with joy they told her about their head piece.  Out of love, differences were explained and fear was avoided. 

I am not trying to proclaim myself to be parent of the year here.  These examples are but a few of the conversations on diversity that we have with our children.  Usually these conversations are sparked in the heat of a moment when presented with someone or something new.  I think it is right to embrace the moment and not react out of embarrassment.  I remember as a child asking my mother something about a person I saw and her response and we will discuss it later attitude worried me, I never felt comfortable bringing it up later. 

I know these conversations are difficult.  But if we don't have them, if we don't make differences something that is not only OK to talk about but more importantly safe to embrace then we aren't teaching the next generation anything better!  We aren't going to help the next generation overcome the problems of this generation - especially if we ignore them!

But as an older generation we also need to be more open to the younger generation.  When a child asks you questions, don't assume that it is out of hate but perhaps open yourself to hearing the love behind the questions.   One time my daughter tried to engage a person in conversation about their differences and looking at me with a horrible glance the man walk off offended.  It was a teaching moment for her on how we do need to be careful about some things we say; but nonetheless, her statement wasn't truly that inappropriate. 

My reflection is this: parents don't be afraid to address your children's questions, no matter how seemingly embarrassing with truthful and LOVE-filled statements.  Let us embrace the diversity as a positive thing.  Let us remember that God created us, each person to be unique.  Let us remember that Jesus called us to love all and more importantly let us see the Holy Spirit that dwells in all beings.  Surely goodness and mercy can be shown even in the awkward moments of life.  Surely God's love can shine through curiosity!  Surely God's grace can be felt when out of "the other" friendship is forged.

Let us out of love accept and embrace our difference and avoid fear.  Let us not "other" people to the point that the next generation of children comes to fear the unknowns and believe any one type of person is a enemy to all of humanity.  Let us instead see the individuals before us in all the glory and diversity that God has created!